Put Yourself In My Place
by dnjlwilson
Summary: Just a little missing scene from "Snakebite". My first E! fic, so be kind, please!


Put Yourself In My Place

"God Johnny, this was too close." Roy whispered as he swept the dark hair off of his friend's sweaty forehead. Roy found no comfort in the fact that the worst was over, or so Brackett said. The violent vomiting and full body spasms had stopped nearly an hour ago ending a 20 hour touch and go marathon. After the last round of dry heaves, Johnny had sunk into the bed, exhaustion winning the battle with consciousness. Johnny was in a deep restless sleep. His fever was down as was the swelling in his right calf. Still, Roy was not going to let his guard down. Rattlesnake bites are nothing to take lightly, and as long as it took for Johnny to get to the hospital, nearly an hour before the anti-venom could be administered...he refused to let that train of thought continue.

Feeling exhausted himself, Roy straightened from his hovering and stretched his back. It was hard to take his eyes off of his friend. It would be a while before he let Johnny out of his sight. He knew he was doing his job when he left on the chopper with the teenaged victims. Still, if he had been with Johnny when the bite occurred, it might have made a difference.

_"You couldn't have done anymore than he did for himself."_ he recalled Dixie's words. Did for himself. Those words drove a stake through Roy's heart. Looking fondly at Johnny, he couldn't comprehend how in the hell had Johnny kept his cool while he treated himself and relayed vitals back to Rampart until he could no longer hold the HT. Chet said he had to pry it from Johnny's fingers even though he had long since lost consciousness. When he arrived at the ER, he was limp as a dish rag and Roy swallowed his heart as he feared Johnny was dead.

"Stop it, Roy." a weak voice broke his reverie. He looked at Johnny and saw sleepy brown eyes looking back.

"Hey, Junior. Short nap." Roy smiled, adverting his eyes from his partner's. Johnny had a keen knack for reading his mind and he cursed himself for not sensing Johnny's eyes on him.

"I said stop." Johnny frowned.

"Stop what?" Roy feigned ignorance, knowing full well he was not fooling Johnny for one minute.

"It's not your fault and you know it, Pally." Johnny grimaced, doubling up as pain knifed through his stomach.

Roy rushed to his friend's side. "Hey, hey, calm down." he crooned, rubbing small circles on Johnny's back. "Take deep breaths." This was the familiar routine for the past 20 hours.

Johnny groaned, bringing his knees closer to his chest. "Damn, that hurts." he gasped.

Soon, his breathing returned to normal and he carefully laid back in bed, straigtening his legs. "Thanks." his voice a harsh rasp, his eyes remaining closed.

"Anytime, Junior." Roy replied, with a final gentle pat, his own breathing returning to normal. He noticed the deep lines around Johnny's eyes lessening, evidence the painful spasms were receding.

Eyes still closed, Johnny whispered, "Roy, I'm gonna ask ya to let this go. It was just a freak thing, nobody's fault."

Another gift of his partner's, cutting to the chase.

"I mean it Roy. If you wanna help me get through this, that's the best thing you can do." Johnny added.

Roy finally got the courage to meet Johnny's eyes. "Okay. I'll let it go if you will let me say something first."

"Shoot." Johnny replied, scooting up in bed, getting comfortable. This was going to be good.

Roy gathered his thoughts. He knew he was only going to get one shot at this. Johnny wouldn't let it go on, so he had to say it just right the first time.

Roy looked down at his feet as he began. "Yeah, I blame myself, and you can't tell me you wouldn't feel the same way. We're partners and when you hurt, I hurt. I can't imagine what you went through with this, starting an I.V. on yourself, taking your own vitals, all the time knowing what you were going to go through in the hours to come." Roy had to stop, not trusting his voice. He was not ashamed of this weakness with Johnny, Roy had seen the same in him. They had been to hell and back together. They could be brutally honest with each other, most times not even having to voice their feelings. They were that close. But, damn it, he had almost lost his best friend today, and weakness or not, it had thrown him.

"Roy." Johnny said softly.

Holding his hand up to silence his partner, Roy replied, "I'm not finished. Just give me a minute." After a long pause, Roy shrugged, "Johnny, put yourself in my place. How am I supposed to feel?"

Johnny gave a crooked grin. He knew he had Roy right where he wanted him. "Okay Pally, put yourself in MY place. How am I supposed to feel? Would you wanna see me beat myself up over something that I couldn't do anything about?"

Roy finally looked up, meeting smiling eyes with his own. He couldn't help but smile himself. Johnny could always do that to him. Never failed. "Okay, so what do we do, smart man."

"Well, see, I've got it all figured out." Johnny smiled, smoothing the sheet that covered his hospital gown clad body.

"You do, huh?" Roy shook his head, knowing this was going to be vintage Gage.

"Yeah." Johnny nodded, a serious look on his face. "You promise not to feel guilty about this and I promise never to get snakebit again if you're not around to help. Deal?" Johnny held out his hand to shake on the agreement.

Roy was speechless. Classic Gage reasoning, but somehow, it worked. "Deal." He took his partner's proffered hand and shook it.

Johnny patted the back of Roy's hand before letting it go. "One more thing, Pally."

"You name it, Junior." Roy replied.

"Go home and get some sleep. You look like hell." Johnny laughed. "Besides, you're ruining my chances with that pretty redheaded nurse. She is still on duty, isn't she?" Johnny asked hopefully.

Roy laughed. "She is still on duty, partner, but speaking of looking like hell, I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you."

"Aw Roy, chicks eat that stuff up." Johnny smiled. "It's called the 'Pity Factor'."

Roy headed for the door, "Well, you sure are pitiful."

"Hey, that's not what I meant!" Johnny whined.

Roy backed out the door, "I'm sure you'll do fine. I'm going home and let Joanne take pity on me." He waggled his eyebrows.

Johnny threw his pillow at his friend. "Get out of here, and don't come back until you've had at least 10 hours sleep!"

Roy laughed and then sobered. "Call me if you need me, alright?"

Johnny gave Roy his best crooked grin. "I will."

"Promise?" Roy asked.

"Promise." Johnny answered.

Roy ducked his head and backed out the door, closing it behind him. He paused at the door, reluctant to actually leave.

"Go home, Roy!" Johnny yelled through the closed door.

Smiling, Roy walked down the hall. "I'm going, Junior."


End file.
